Wednesday, February 15, 2017

An Open Look Into Where My Mind & Body Reside...

Hello Luvs,

It's been a few days since my last lifestyle blog and many things have happened. We did another boondocking location. It was actually the very first spot we stayed at in Lake Mead Recreational Park. It offered up the same beautiful view, however the condition (though not terrible) showed us that the folks staying there in between had a little less respect for their surroundings. We cleaned up a bit making sure to leave the space better that it was when we arrived.
These I find now long to
betray me.

During this time both Jalen and I took on the task of organizing many of our things. Living in a smaller space dictates that we find a spot for everything and not allow it to get away from us. Don't get me was pretty organized before, but sometimes when you add new items it is not done as smartly. Felt good to do that! It was as if we cleared our minds a bit more. While doing so I also felt a sense of peace and serenity. Almost as if I had done a long meditation and it left me floating.

That brings me to the main focus of today's blog. Though it might seem to some as if I am just rattling off thoughts and do not have a purpose. Yep, might seem to view my blogs in that way! But, ultimately this blog is to remind others that they are not alone. They can free up their lives and live closer to their ideal vision. That being bogged down with financial issues does not have to be their daily existence. Living a different way than others is not wrong but is just simply YOUR way. I also strive to share my poetry which is done in the moment....along with other things. Some might resonate with you while others do not. We are all individuals with different thoughts, feelings, and experiences. What binds us is the fact that we are all part of the Village of Humanity.

During the time that I've been writing most has been about the many joys this road has brought into our lives. But, during this I have also been experiencing lows in regard to my health. After some time it seems more and more as if my problems were brought on by an infection. Since then this body which has ALWAYS been high energy with a bit of a go get 'em mentality is betraying me. Currently I am having a bad time of it. My legs threaten to let me fall (while my right leg does not want to help me walk). My bones ache along with the muscles surrounding them. My hands and arms numb up (to where they feel as if they have lost all blood flow) and begin to experience sharp pains when I write, type, wash dishes, sweep, do my hair, read a book....and the list goes on. My back has a sharp pain that comes and goes which travels up and down my spine. The ringing in my ears is deafening, and my eye popping headaches have worsened. It is what it is and I deal with it the best I can. I believe my positive outlook and mindset have helped my tremendously during this time.
Great food is ALWAYS part of our lifestyle!

My health journey has been filled with much frustration. Every doctor tells me that they know that the symptoms are real (and NOT in my head) but there is no clear cause. Do you know how hard it is to hear doctors say that again and again over the course of five+ years? When people see me they say, "Well you look great." As if I should be ashen, in sweat pants with unkempt hair? I have been to see every type of doctor under the sun. Next week I have an appointment to see a surgeon to find out if carpal tunnel is causing all of these symptoms which for me is hard to imagine. Having surgery is the very last thing I want to do. Hopefully it will not come to that.

The interesting thing is, while listening to public radio this weekend, a young woman was sharing her health story. A story that seems eerily similar to mine. She was checked for depression, told to exercise more (to strengthen the muscles), and/or that her symptoms were not real. I had a really machismo neurologist tell me that I needed to talk to my pastor. After the woman did the recommended items she was in excruciating pain. The same pain I can relate to. I shared the same the debilitating pain after teaching my enrichment program. Often times I had to will myself to finish the classes. Then I would walk slowly and purposefully to my car. Once I reached home I could hardly pull myself out of the car. Yes, I completely understand her pain. She was finally diagnosed with M.E. which is a Chronic Pain Disease.
This happened on one of my recent good days.

The one thing we do not share is children. My kiddos eventually asked me why I was so tired and not as active. I thought that I was being successful in hiding it from them. I would never lie to them, but I would simply ask for a few minutes. When they began to notice Josh and I shared what was happening. I miss being able to climb and jump like I used to. We do still hike, however I have to be aware of the climbing grade and duration. When I am in remission from symptoms we take full advantage and plan more outdoors activities.

I feel as if sharing what I am going through while embracing the adventure this family of four is enjoying might resonate with some. I am going to pen when things are good or bad. That way you know that just like you my life is not all rosy and without trails. Hopefully this help another in some small way.

Hearing the woman on the radio reminded me that we DO NOT have to be alone. If there is anyone who is not supportive of me or my family I will let them go, remove them from our lives if necessary, wish them well, then do what is best for me and my family.

Til next time,


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