Sunday, June 21, 2015

Papa's Got a Brand New Day...

Hello Luvs,

Courtesy of shiningmountainpress
Today is a three-fold post. I start by saying Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there along with the Mom's and Grandparents whom assume that role when there is no official 'Dad' around. Love and support from these individuals is necessary to help shape the future of our World. Without strong family figures many are left to drift along searching for that figure.

That brings me to the second part of this post. The country I live in has so many money making occasions it boggles the mind. I am a firm believer of appreciating the ones you love daily. Never should it be a specific day that dictates when you show your love and appreciation. These people need to know it on a more consistent basis. Just my way of thinking....agree with it or not.

Courtesy of Jeffrey Williams
Now, on a personal note, I wanted to write about how this day affects me. I am sure that I am not alone when as I write this. Growing up without a 'Father Figure' left me with some isses. I followed my Dad around (when he was around) so much  that they called me Champ's shadow. I believed that he hung the moon and the stars. When he passed away I was devastated. I was nine and such a shy young lady. Watching him fix cars was a favorite activity of mine. I should note that at one time my Dad was a tall, slim, clean cut, man with black rimmed glasses. He was quite handsome (me and my sisters look a lot like him) and the love of my Mother's life. He changed after going to war and was never the same. At the end of his life he belonged to a motorcycle club and rode around on his bike which he was constantly working on. It was human error when doing so that contributed to his passing. I attirbute my love of bikes (which I never rode or considered owning out of respect for my Mother) and the look of them to him. He cut a different figure when he passed. He was still handsome, but his figure had a bigger stomach, chained wallet, and leather vest. He was still a rock star in my eyes. After the accident he was in critical condtion. If he had lived in his lesser state I would be in Missouri taking care of him. This accident changed the course of my life. There was a hole left that could not be filled. Later in life I came to understand his short comings. There were many....many that even with how much my Mom loved him could not be fixed. I do know however that he was a man shaped by his experiences. They were experiences that left scars. Scars that he unfortunately could not overcome. So he was not loyal or true. He cheated, became an absent father at times, and did not place his children first. I no longer see him with rose colored glasses. That does not erase the love I feel for him. It will ALWAYS be there.

So, now my Mom was left with four daughters to raise on her own. With the tools she had she did the best she could. I understand and appreciate that. Were things perfect? No, not even close, but I still understand that she did her best. Relocating to another state and not having support of siblings and other family members can be difficult. Dealing with losing the love of your life can compound that. It can make you bitter, disconnected, and adrift. Raising four children (witn extremely different personalities) no matter what the sex can be trying. Making it a priority to make sure that they have certain role models in their lives can be even more difficult. I respect the fact that many things went into how my young life was shaped....positive or negative. For better or worse....it was what it was.

Without having that male figure changes how you feel a relationship should play out. You find yourself looking for the individual who can take care of you. Ones that can make all those fears and insecurities go away. Right or wrong...that is what happens. When you think that THIS person can do just that you find yourself excusing actions that other's would not. The person who will not only be your partner but your safety net. It took me a long time to learn that what I was doing was not the answer. I needed to become a strong Woman BEFORE I would be able to find the right partner. 

That brings me to the Hubster. He is not here to make me feel like a child in need, but to share a positive approach to becoming better Human Beings and instill these beliefs in our children. To raise children that are not part of the main stream, but instead free thinkers. It is not an easy task and we could take short cuts that are easy for us. Instead we offer the truth along with love that hopefully shows that we are there with them IN THE TRUTH.  We are alike in many ways yet different in almost just as many. However, we are consistently (not always of course) of the same mind when it comes to how to raise our children. We have taken a step back and decided this is our resolve, and we believe that our children are all the better for it. 

Lastly, here is a quick ode to those that take the rein of 'The Father Figure'. No matter who you are and the role society tries to box you in, you have a profound responsibility. Isn't that cool in a way?

Forget Perfection

What is perfection other than a want
It is an unrealistic dream that we perceive in the mind
The mind that wanders between stances
Of just what the final definition is

Forget what you feel THIS truly is
Our life is not a movie or fantasy
But a cold, frank, matter of fact
Existence that is never predictable

Try as you may to shift your approach
Others will find a way to find you lacking
So what do you do with that
Realize their judgement is the problem 

Accept that you will try to be a better you
The you that YOU strive for
With the changes that make a Happy Heart
That loves life, it's possibilities, and ulitmately YOURSELF


Till next time,

Kat


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