Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Operating out of fear.....

Hello Luvs,

Today when evaluating the actions of someone I know to be a negative presence in my life I started to consider why that was. Why would this person go out of their way to make things more difficult for not only me but others? Aren't there enough people trying to bring her down (even though that might be questionable) that she reconsider doing the same to others?
A nest to house our feelings...

I know that what comes out of her mouth more than likely is disingenuious. That there is a seperate motive that drives her. Hiding behind the guise of religion to justify or cloud her actions, then telling anyone who will listen that she is a support system for others and wants everyone to succeed. But really does everything in her power to do the exact opposite.

So, why does she do it? I can only come to one conclusion....FEAR. Fear that the fascade that she displays with be uncovered. The fogged up glass that will soon be rubbed clear and discovering something that she has yet to fully realize for herself. When you have confidence in your ability you do not pull other people down. You embrace their capabilites and wish them the best. If you are not confident your insides scream...If I cannot control the narrative or outcome then NO ONE will succeed !

Do you have someone if your life who does this to you? They started off representing themselves in a way that should have slapped you out of your dream saying....THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! No one wants to go around thinking that others have ulterior motives (at least I don't), but the truth is....there are many who have just that.

How do you and I look  for a way to combat this negatively which can prove daunting? If truth be told, it is an uphill battle for me. It takes all my strength to not wish that she has profoundly negative things happen in her life. In actuality, behind closed doors, there most likely already are. A happy person does not act this way. They are in denial of their true heart. This stops them from being what their potential beckons. Though I might feel the battle brusing I also feel pity for her. She does not see the light that resonates when you are truly generous in nature.

I will continue to work on myself and the energy I put out into the world. That I have more control over. In the meantime, I will display my thoughts via this blog. It is a way for others who might be going through the same thing to realize that...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Til next time,

Kat


Saturday, June 27, 2015

Shine with Your Eyes...

Hello Luvs,
These words hold especially true!

When thinking about the saying ....the eyes are a window to the soul...I like to take a step back and think about what it truly means. There are people who I encounter who look at me with a blank stare without any spark behind their gaze. I know that there must be someone who makes their eyes light up. Someone who brings a smile to their eyes. So why is it so? Did their bad day or the experience they had a few minutes before dictating their emotion now? That is the question....


Then you meet someone who lights up a room wtih their presence and bright outlook that you feel when you look into their eyes. They smile hello and welcome you at the same time. All of this being done with their eyes. Did they have a bad interaction that happened shortly before? There is a chance that maybe they did, and they decided not to let that affect their interaction with the next person. What are they doing that is different than the person who had such a scowl on their face that imminated from their eyes?

That is where I feel being in the moment comes into place. It is not an easy task, but it can help you realize that your here and now involves birds chirping, children laughing, the sun shining, brilliant grey clouds, the smell of fresh cut grass....I could go on and on.

This is something that is still a work in progress for me and what I work on constantly. It can be most challenging when someone drives recklessly while I have my children in the car with me. Pretty sure there are others who would find this a trying situation also. Taking a deep breath helps sometimes for sure. A quick vent that I regret later happens just as much. 


My eyes often shine outward the feelings I am experiencing. They say what my words have not. I wear my emotions on my face...and especially in my eyes. I am not a person who can hide their emotion easliy. It is usually out there for all to see no matter how I try.

You might find that there are specific times where you feel as if you might lose your temper. We are all Human Beings and students for life. At least that is what I believe for myself.

So, how do we not become the person who darkens the room? By remembering that we are all living with faults and accepting that we can all have a bad day. Are their people who live in the...whatever affects me is all I care about? Yes, for sure! That will unfortunately be the case for some. But, it is how YOU AND I choose to reflect that outward that makes the difference.

What do you think? Do you agree or have another take on it? I would love to know.

Til next time,

Kat 

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Nevermind.....

Hello Luvs,

A quick ode to my morning thoughts....
Courtesy of Drew Melton- The Phraseology Project

Nevermind

Nevermind my frown
I woke up surrounded by a cloud
Though I admire it's beauty
The darkness still haunts me

Nevermind the words I said
In the moment I forgot my head
Thought venting was the cure
To the frustration that left me torn

Nevermind what you said
I can pretend it was the wind
Angry at being tossed around
Then smashed upon the ground

Nevermind the smile you see
It's just ME being ME
Placing the mask upon my face
To try to keep my heartbeat in place

Nevermind is just a word
Spoken under the breath not truly heard
Not truly expressing your mind
Making sure our feelings are tightly bound

Til next time,

Kat

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Papa's Got a Brand New Day...

Hello Luvs,

Courtesy of shiningmountainpress
Today is a three-fold post. I start by saying Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there along with the Mom's and Grandparents whom assume that role when there is no official 'Dad' around. Love and support from these individuals is necessary to help shape the future of our World. Without strong family figures many are left to drift along searching for that figure.

That brings me to the second part of this post. The country I live in has so many money making occasions it boggles the mind. I am a firm believer of appreciating the ones you love daily. Never should it be a specific day that dictates when you show your love and appreciation. These people need to know it on a more consistent basis. Just my way of thinking....agree with it or not.

Courtesy of Jeffrey Williams
Now, on a personal note, I wanted to write about how this day affects me. I am sure that I am not alone when as I write this. Growing up without a 'Father Figure' left me with some isses. I followed my Dad around (when he was around) so much  that they called me Champ's shadow. I believed that he hung the moon and the stars. When he passed away I was devastated. I was nine and such a shy young lady. Watching him fix cars was a favorite activity of mine. I should note that at one time my Dad was a tall, slim, clean cut, man with black rimmed glasses. He was quite handsome (me and my sisters look a lot like him) and the love of my Mother's life. He changed after going to war and was never the same. At the end of his life he belonged to a motorcycle club and rode around on his bike which he was constantly working on. It was human error when doing so that contributed to his passing. I attirbute my love of bikes (which I never rode or considered owning out of respect for my Mother) and the look of them to him. He cut a different figure when he passed. He was still handsome, but his figure had a bigger stomach, chained wallet, and leather vest. He was still a rock star in my eyes. After the accident he was in critical condtion. If he had lived in his lesser state I would be in Missouri taking care of him. This accident changed the course of my life. There was a hole left that could not be filled. Later in life I came to understand his short comings. There were many....many that even with how much my Mom loved him could not be fixed. I do know however that he was a man shaped by his experiences. They were experiences that left scars. Scars that he unfortunately could not overcome. So he was not loyal or true. He cheated, became an absent father at times, and did not place his children first. I no longer see him with rose colored glasses. That does not erase the love I feel for him. It will ALWAYS be there.

So, now my Mom was left with four daughters to raise on her own. With the tools she had she did the best she could. I understand and appreciate that. Were things perfect? No, not even close, but I still understand that she did her best. Relocating to another state and not having support of siblings and other family members can be difficult. Dealing with losing the love of your life can compound that. It can make you bitter, disconnected, and adrift. Raising four children (witn extremely different personalities) no matter what the sex can be trying. Making it a priority to make sure that they have certain role models in their lives can be even more difficult. I respect the fact that many things went into how my young life was shaped....positive or negative. For better or worse....it was what it was.

Without having that male figure changes how you feel a relationship should play out. You find yourself looking for the individual who can take care of you. Ones that can make all those fears and insecurities go away. Right or wrong...that is what happens. When you think that THIS person can do just that you find yourself excusing actions that other's would not. The person who will not only be your partner but your safety net. It took me a long time to learn that what I was doing was not the answer. I needed to become a strong Woman BEFORE I would be able to find the right partner. 

That brings me to the Hubster. He is not here to make me feel like a child in need, but to share a positive approach to becoming better Human Beings and instill these beliefs in our children. To raise children that are not part of the main stream, but instead free thinkers. It is not an easy task and we could take short cuts that are easy for us. Instead we offer the truth along with love that hopefully shows that we are there with them IN THE TRUTH.  We are alike in many ways yet different in almost just as many. However, we are consistently (not always of course) of the same mind when it comes to how to raise our children. We have taken a step back and decided this is our resolve, and we believe that our children are all the better for it. 

Lastly, here is a quick ode to those that take the rein of 'The Father Figure'. No matter who you are and the role society tries to box you in, you have a profound responsibility. Isn't that cool in a way?

Forget Perfection

What is perfection other than a want
It is an unrealistic dream that we perceive in the mind
The mind that wanders between stances
Of just what the final definition is

Forget what you feel THIS truly is
Our life is not a movie or fantasy
But a cold, frank, matter of fact
Existence that is never predictable

Try as you may to shift your approach
Others will find a way to find you lacking
So what do you do with that
Realize their judgement is the problem 

Accept that you will try to be a better you
The you that YOU strive for
With the changes that make a Happy Heart
That loves life, it's possibilities, and ulitmately YOURSELF


Till next time,

Kat


Saturday, June 20, 2015

As They Sway.....

Hello Luvs,

I know...I go from nothing for weeks or months, then I cannot stop. I hope that you enjoy my ramblings. This is something that came to me while I sat in my car waiting for the light to change.

As They Sway

Courtesy of kidz n cats
As they sway the motion relaxes
The leaves on the trees calling me
To respond to their joy
Or maybe their reprieve

They have been burdened by the heat
Beating down from up above
Allowing the rain
Absorbed to help them grow

Courtesy of kitstreemap
They can thump a beat
And they can sing a melody
Become what represents
A daytime dream for me



As they sway I sense my hesitation
To drive closer to home
Leave them where they stand
Just as we've made our connection

They are all things GOLDEN
All things LIVING
All things GROWING
Speaking their own version of AMEN

Til next time,

Kat

Friday, June 19, 2015

Friday's Random Musings


To be in the moment for me is....listening wih my eyes closed and taking in...taking it in


-The sound of the wind blowing through the trees

-The path of pine needles, leaves, and branches blown down by the storm last night into a pattern only Pollock would create

-My children's delight upon discovering their 1-10-15-20th frog on the path and gently placing them back by the water

-The birds across the pond in the tallest tree who sing together in perfect harmony
Another visitor's wonderfiul pic...

-The dragonfly who keeps zig-zagging across my
 path, almost as if saying, follow the leader

-Our chihuahua panting with excitement because she just HAS TO get up to the smell ahead

-The plane in the distance taking who knows who who knows where

-And the sound of my heart reminding me that I AM HERE to take it all in


Til next time,

Kat


Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Listen, No Listen

Hello Luvs,

Thoughts under the surface....Enjoy...


I feel it yet again
The need to ask the question
Is this a necessary action
To make you feel better

I hear the sound quite close
Close to my ear ringing true
That says I know your thoughts
Not just the words you've said

I have the sense that says
Listen, no listen
This is not the way
To get what you want

I feel it yet again
The need to close my ears
To the noise of your choosing 
That helps you relate

Relate to your thoughts
Relate to your feelings
Relate to the state of things
Things I cannot possibly understand

Til next time,

Kat