Sunday, January 25, 2015

It is not what you say, but rather how you say it?

Happy Sunday Luvs,

I hope you were blissful throughout this past week. The message of this post was what I awoke to today. After having a phone converstation yesterday I started to think about whether or not the above saying is true. I do believe that in some ways it is, however I also TRULY believe that most of the time it is lacking in appropriateness. You can say the most biting words in a sickly sweet way. I am sure a lot of you can relate to what I just said because someone has been sarcatic and cruel (with a smile on their face!) while going for the jugular.

So, instead I say that it does matter what you say AND how you say it. Words can be just as harmful as actions. They can leave a scar that carries on well past when the bruises have healed. This is something that we need to remember when we have something on our mind that is in NO WAY productive but instead simply our way of getting in the last word.

When these thoughts rolled around in my head I came back to just how harmful words can be when they are overheard by young minds. When born we have no preexisting prejudices or slanted points of view. It is conditioning from the world around us (or sadly in the home we were rasied in) that sets these thoughts in motion. Pointing out another individuals color of skin, economic standing, or attractiveness is a behaviour that is learned. When we as adults put something out there...for example....speak about someones style of dress, hoopty (older damaged car), or size of clothing (because they are on the heavier side) we are not making the world a better place. Instead we showing our own insecurities. When did it become ok to prop ourselves up by breaking another down. We do not walk in their shoes. When speaking about what they have or don't have we have no inkling of how it came to be. If they have a scar or disfigurement do we show empathy? When they live in a smaller house/apartment or drive an older car do we truly know why? Maybe they do not care one iota about a large house and that car is just fine with them. They do not value their worth by possessions. However there are a lot of people who have an existence that was brought about by divorce, medical emergencies, disabilities, loss of job, or psycholoigical issues to just name a few. Are we to turn our backs to them (or even more troubling) and say negative things that we have no business saying?

What saddens me is the thought of individuals that were once in the same position as their fellow Human Beings, but once they started doing better began to speak down to others. They quickly forget that they were once in a place of economic poverty or did not feel their best physcially. Don't forget about those who have never had to worry about money and are attractive who share no vein if understanding. What does it say about these people who use negative words to make themselves feel better. Do they know they are doing so? If they do, how can they possibly justify their actions and/or words?

So what can we do to ensure that we are putting our best selves forward? Think about the reason for our negativity before we spout out sentiment that does more harm than good. When witnessing this from others call them on it, or at the very least remove yourself from their presence or circle. If you are comfortable enough what would be even better would be to have an open dialogue regarding why they said it and what made them take that stance. Both of you could be the better for it!

Til next time,


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