Tuesday, November 24, 2015

When you look at me.....

Hello Luvs,

Below is a poem that I am writing in the moment about self-image, and the judgement many make because of the way you look. There are many who decide you are either lessor than or unworthy just because of your outward appearance. It is past time to let these ideas fall by the wayside. We need to make our decisions based on the merit of the individual and not immediately discount them. ENJOY.....

When you look at me
Do you see the years of struggle
Of a Woman who knows who she is
Or just another person taking up space

When you look at me 
Do you see a nose too wide
Lips too big
Color too dark
Hair not kinky enough
While standing too high

When you loook at me
Do you see a Mother of two
A wife of many years
 A daughter far away from family
Who chose this into being

When you look at me 
Are my patterns too bold
Skirt too short
Eyeliner too wide
And eyes too large

When you look at me
Do you see the Woman I am
A Woman who long ago
Decided to take her own road
Met with many harsh judgements
Because I did not fit the mold
The mold of those whom came before me
Forged a path that has
Helped me live my dream
A dream of passion with soul fulfillment the goal

For this no longer chipped front tooth- made me
One eye drooping slightly- made me
The acne scars from youth- made me
The  husk in my voice- made me
The eyes lasered clean- made me

I no longer hold the pain
Of the loss of the idoled Man
Human scarred by the war fought
For another
Coming home lost like his brothers

I no longer hold the pain
That used to guide relationships
Without the male role model
That no longer existed
Though family is big 
They did not step in
For they were still boys
In the bodies of men

I no longer hold the pain
Of a Mother sent drifting
The love of her life
Who long ago went missing
The task of raising
Four future Women
Without the support
That should have been a given

For these trials- made me
The bad relationships- made me
The struggles for survival- made me
The tears that I shed- made me

Made me someone who knows
To learn from the past
To appreciate life
And to look at each glasss
As half full, not half empty
Though it might seem naive
I will fight for my village
Til my very last breath

So, when you look at me 
What do you see
Is it a mirror image
Of your own destiny
To become the Human Being
Who decides to no longer
Jump to conclusions
About the person behind the counter

Til next time,


Saturday, September 26, 2015

The Value of Art in the life of a child.....

Hello Luvs,

Today's blog will be short and sweet. I attended a Banned Books Art Event (in which I was a judge) last night and one of the artists who was chosen to be printed was 12 years old. Her parents did not inform her about this, and she found out when she walked in and saw her work enlarged. That my dears if a Heart Happy moment. The fire that is within that child has been tended and fed. I know that she will go on to do great things because she is truly talented.

So what happens to a child who has an artistic talent but does not receive praise or support? There is the chance that nothing will come of his or her passion. Yes, there are occasions when the person perseveres and finds themself living their dream. Unfortunately more often than not they don't. 

I have a profound sense of sadness when writing that because I know that it should not be the case. I have seen first hand how art expression has lifted a child out of their negative surroundings and given them a sense of self-confidence and helped them to shine. Art CAN do this. In it's many forms whether it is visual or performance based it can change the road that child is on.....even their destiny. Maybe they will not become an artist, but instead have confidence to to embrace another passion. The point is not to turn out more artists necesssarily. The goal is to give them wings in which they use to soar to their own personal destination.

We all need wings to fly....

Though the words may escape me
I see you
When the rest of the world says no
I support you
Down the road that you travel
I will guide you
No matter what it takes of me
I will embrace you

For YOU are the change
I have seen
A young mind who has yet
Realized their dream
The seed thirsty for knowledge
WE will water you
With kind words and the belief
That YOU are what's true

Til next time,


Saturday, September 19, 2015

Past Time for the Underdogs and People Who LIVE by their conscious!

Hello Luvs,

If you have had the chance to follow my periscopes (@katsmeoww11) lately you have probably heard  me talk about the trials I have been going through. It has been an uphill battle trying NOT to be dragged down by anothers negative outlook and actions. I strive to learn from my mistakes and live a life without dishonestly and selfishness. I witness these traits around me, and it really bothers me that others choose to live the exact opposite truth. 

I continue to feel like THE UNDERDOG....the one who spins a wheel trying over and over to do the right thing, but in turn receives no support and/or instead receives negative consequences for being true to myself. I know that I am not alone. Others like me are out there. We hear that if you work hard, do your best, work on your craft, and put your positives out there you will be rewarded for it. In truth I am seeeing the opposite. I see those who do not do the right thing, climb over others to succeed, place a fake fascade out there for the world, and only think of themselves succeeeding. There is something fundamentally wrong with that! When people say 'pull yourselves up by your boot straps' I want to scream! Guess what people...some do not even OWN said boots and their straps are ripping!
Words to live by....

So why is it this way? When did we become a society where people, no matter how much they put out there, still have an uphill battle? When did we switch and become no longer about the village and more about 'ME'? When did we lose site that when we help the lesser than we become stronger as a unit? Lastly, when did we decide that even when we see a child in harms way we weigh our liability BEFORE we decide to jump?

Well, the good news is that just as much as there are people who lead this charge of negativity there are others (even though the number seem fewer) that WILL jump in and help their fellow Human Being. There are those WHO WILL offer kind words to someone when needed. People who see a need and step in to fill it!
Key word...OUR!

So, who are you? Are you an underdog? If so, I am glad to be in the club with you! Let's band together and change the odds. Let's flip the table over, smash it, and build a new one. One that is designed for a community in which an invitiation to join is a given. That is the world I wish for myself, my children, you, your children, and ALL the generations of Human Beings to come!!!!

Til next time,


Wednesday, September 9, 2015

The Author Don Tate in all his GLORY...

Hello Luvs,

Happy Wednesday! I planned on doing this blog a couple of days ago, but we all know that as with life...the best laid plans fall aside. However, I have the opportunity now to tell you about an artist/author/storyteller (because he can tell a very entertaining story)/and an all around good guy.
Don working the room...

His name is Don Tate and his book 'The Remarkable Story of George Moses Horton' has been selling out wherever he visits. It is about a remarkable man who became the first African-American author to be published in the South. George taught himself to read at a young age, and even though he was a slave, his thirst for learning was not to be hindered. There is alot to learn about the incredible man who made his mark here in North Carolina/UNC. I suggest you read up on him. You WILL NOT regret it!

Now, back to Don. I got the chance to meet him and his wonderful wife Tamera at the Chapel Hill Library last Saturday. I was going to try to periscope the event, but alas that was not meant to be. In a way I am glad because it gave me the opportuniy to be in the moment and truly hear Don's story.

In the end I could not help but be in awe of his talent. He shared some renderings he did at various ages. I firmly believe that an artist should be told that you appreciate their work. So Don, if you are reading this (and I hope you are) please know that seeing the portraits you did earlier in your life showed that even at that time art is WHAT YOU ARE MEANT TO BE DOING! There was a little bit of everything. He has illustrated over 50 books. Don has also won several awards which include The Ezra Jack Keats New Writer Honor and the Booklist Editors Choice in 2012. Yet the Horton book is the first in which he not only did the illustration but also wrote! Taking on this additional responsibilty suits him well, and the love being shown for this book and his artistry proves that others recognize and embrace it. 
A pic of the book from his presentation.

To top things off he shared the fact that he won two trophies for a body building competiton he entered. Getting the feeling that he can do whatever he set his mind to! The future is bright and he is an author/artist to follow and embrace. I plan to keep an eye out for his upcoming works I believe his next book will be out in about 3 years. Our family has a copy of Horton via my mother-in-law. Support him any way you can. That is what a community of like-mided individuals should do.

So, pop onto facebook (www.facebook.com/DonTate) and start to follow his travels promoting the book. Also, find out when he is coming to your neck of the woods. You will not regret it!

Til next time,


Saturday, August 22, 2015

The CIRCUS that is back to school shopping...

Hello Luvs,

Thinking of the maragarita I will be having later...
Hope that your week went well. Did it go by as fast as it did for me? I thought I would share today's experience with others who may have had similar outings over the last week or so. Today was the day I tackled Baby Girl and Boy's back to school shopping. Original plan was for both the Hubster and me to both be there. Because tomorrow involves a music session and the Leumr Center it would be TOO BONKERS to attempt to do so after. I could not imagine doing what we did today in a 2-3 hour window. Would have possibly had to have been hospitalized....NO JOKE.

So, where my parents? I know that even if you are not a parent yet that you were a student once upon a time, so this tale probably still resonates. I visited five stores in search of needed supplies (in which only 3 out of 20 items were on both lists). There had to be negotiation with Baby Girl because there were several things NOT on the list that managed to end up in her cart. Oh, I didn't mention that she needed her own because their supplies could not be mixed up...nevermind the fact that each had their own sheet list so seperating them would not be a problem. Hey, I have learned when to pick my battles and this was one in which I gladly surrendered.

The aisles were not much wider than this nest.
Throughout the day I witnessed the best and worst of society. I thanked a gentleman who actually held the door for about 20 people before he went into a store. Most of these people did not offer up a nod or smile as a sign of recogintion for his simple act of chivalry. He smiled and said it was not a problem. What a guy! I don't think I should recount the visit at this store....gives me shivers just thinking about it! Then not ten minutes later a couple in a huge SUV started speeding through the parking lot trying to get to a spot. They were very close to my son but that did not deter them. They didn't get the spot of course.

At our next stop we found ourselves in the midst of a hurricane of folders, markers, and pencils. Not enough room to make it past another with a cart, yet somehow folks managed to squeeze in and reach over others. To keep my sanity I had to continaully do yoga breaths. I am sure those around me thought I was huffing and puffing....because I had to close my eyes, or concentrate on the feel of the cart under my hands to center myself and basically NOT LOSE IT! I have my trials just like everyone else, and today truly tested me.
Whisper words of kindness and compassion

So, hopping on to our next stop. At this store (notice I am not mentioning the names...publicity was not their shortcoming...all of them were busting at the seams) we FINALLY found a backpack large enough for everything Baby Girl insists on carrying. I had everything prepared. I even had the discount code cued up on my phone! After waiting in line for 15 minutes I realized I left my credit card in the seat of the car. Must have sat on it when I got back in from buying gas. Luckily it was there and not on the ground at that stop 20 minutes away. So, ya guessed it....I had to get out of line, go out and get the card, and get back in line.

Now....are you getting a sense of the days missteps/frustrations? There were more, but I think you get it.  I say all of this because in the end...the satisfaction my kiddos feel because they are now prepared to start their new year is priceless. I might have some battle scars, but they are all worth it!

Til next time,


Sunday, August 16, 2015

Oak City Comic Show

Hello Luvs,

Happy Sunday! My day started off with a class for kiddos at a studio. There was twirling, bouncing, singing, and laughter. It does my heart good to hear and see such things.

The next thing on the agenda was the Oak City Comic Show in Raleigh. I kept referring to it as Comic Con and Baby boy made sure to correct me. This was a day for him to enjoy what he loves....and boy did he!

When we walked in we witnessed people who took cosplay to a new degree. There were a few Captain Americas. Deadpools, and Harley Quinns. but only one Rocket Raccoon (and Mega Man). As you probably guessed...he took the top spot. Enjoy the pics...and let your inner child out!

Scary and Pretty at the same time!
Mega Man in slow-mo

Come here Rocket!
Awaiting results....
Halrley Quinn...great sense of humor.

Pic does not do her justice...SUBLIME!

Rocket...quit flirting-Well Velma is a Vixen...carry on!
Riddle me this...

Til next time,


Friday, August 7, 2015

What Music RESONATES with you?

Hello Luvs,

Happy Friday! Every day should be a day to celebrate your gifts....whatever they may be. For me, the best gift has ALWAYS been music! I think back to when it became so important to me and it seems impossible. The love of music has been ingrained in me as far back as I can remember. There was not a time when I wasn't in love with a particular genre and surrounded myself by it's deliciousness.

Bessie Smith- music that reverberates in the soul!

Some of my fondest memories are of watching my mother or one of their siblings raise both arms in the air and exclaim, "This is my jam!" They would sing, dance, and snap their fingers to anything from the Four Tops to Player's Baby Come Back (my Uncle John's fav!). These occasions left me giggling while at the same time wanting the same sense of joy I was witnessing.

So, growing up I continually sought out Musicals to sing along to in addition to musicians that most of my family did not subscribe or listen to. I was (am) the child who will listen to music ranging from metal to gospel and all the others in between. At different times in my life these works filled a void and helped me escape my worry at that moment in time. I knew I still would have to deal with the problems, but at that moment ALL were temporarily silenced. While soothing my troubled soul they were at the same time liberating me from the status quo. I was not interested in just simply listening to Gospel and R&B (though I listened to them also) but in addition The Who and Led Zeppelin. There was the comment here and there...what is Kathy (what only my family calls em) listening to? Add to that breaking out in the showtune 'I Feel Pretty' from West Side Story and you could imagine how I became the child that no one understood.
Zeppelin-music that dreams are made of..from popmatters.com

To put it bluntly, I AM OK WITH THAT! I feel as if too many people try to fit themselves into that bubble others need them to be in. What ends up happening is that we find ourselves with VERY unhappy adults. Adults who have trouble emphathizing with others and holding their feelings in. Allowing music to help us express those feelings allows us to cope in a healthy way. Who doesn't see the need for more emotionally healthy adults?
West Side Story- Movie of memories!

So, the next time you feel like listening to Meatloaf, Patsy Cline, or Jimi Hendrix do so for you, your health, and the rest of the world. Because when you are happy and well adjusted the rest of the world benefits.

Til next time,


Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Today is ALL ABOUT Positivity...

Happy Wednesday Luvs,

Thanks to the Pinay Investor page.
It is going to be a short one today. I have set a goal to embrace the positive of what I truly have right now and how I can use it to change my outlook toward the obstacles that continue to plague me. 

Do you ever have obstacles that seem to come into your life as if on a repeat loop? Well, I have. With all the positive attributes I feel I have I continue to place road blocks in my way over and over. The Hubster says that I am too naive and trusting. Yes, I am...this I know! I take many at their word and do not recognize the signals that say maybe, just maybe, this person is out for themselves and not interested in what is best, or at the very least, not harmful to me..

I know that I am not alone in this. So, now we have to decide whether or not that person's perspective will be a driving force in our reality....RIGHT?!? I tend to bend my actions in order to accept the negative and immediately find a solution. That is my personality. I need to find the solution to the problem immediately. The truth is (and I am now admitting) that this approach is probably not the best. I really should step back or away from the situation, weigh everything, and approach it from a new angle. Maybe an angle that I was not seeing because of my need to rush and attack the situation.

A new bloom!
This morning I decided to do just that. I have a few things going on right now that are zapping my psyche. When I took Goldie for a walk this morning I did a photo journal of what I observed. When I walked her previously I would try to forget too much and in turn not fully embrace what was around me. Like these...

The neighbor's blooms surrounding their mailbox

This in turn gave me inspiration for today's blog along with what I can do for others as a way to brighten my inner light. I am a firm believer that what you put out into the world has an affect. It is up to each of us to decide if we want to make the world better or more toxic. I know several people who have chosen the latter, and I for one would not like to follow them down that rabbit hole. 

So, what is it you want to put out there? I would love to know!

Til next time,


P.S. So it wasn't so short after all!!! ;-)

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Follow Your Bliss....

Hello Luvs,

We are ALL part of this planet...
Let's talk about what it means to 'follow your bliss'. It means so many things to so many different people. It can be something that is in the moment or a life goal. Tackling a goal and finally achieving it is an easy one that most relate to. I know plenty where just lying on a hammock and feeling the breeze surround you fits the bill. Is that you? Well, for me that is a given...with a glass of green tea or a margartia added to the mix of course!

Don't forget to look up!
Today started with the goal of embracing the blissful moments that were due to come my way. Do not get me wrong, I have plenty of moments that dare me to pull my fro-hawk (heard that word before?) out because of the frustration. It takes a tremendous amount of effort not to and being a work in progress helps me cut myself some slack. Anyhow, the first order of business was to rise before the rest of the family and do yoga. I then took out long haired, long tongued, prima donna Goldie for a walk. After that I taught a class for two brothers that centered on Sly and the Family Stone. A morning DOES NOT get better than that!

So, now it was time to include my kiddos in on the plan...once I got them motivated to leave the house. If you are a parent I ask you this...does it seem as if they are alert and roaring to go when you need a restful day, then when you are jazzed you could take on the world they plop on the sofa and say do we have to? That is my experience. But, today my tone must have persuaded them because they were ready BEFORE I finished my last thing.

Baby Boy keeping his distance while enjoying the beauty.
Hello Big Boy!
There is a place that our family loves to visit that often has ducks, dragonflies, and frogs a plenty. Baby Girl and Boy like to capture a frog (making sure to return them to the place they originally found them) and have a quick convo. The walking path surrounds the pond, and there is plenty of shade. I tend to use the pictures I take there in my blogs along with my other sites. When I stepped out from the van I was instantly at ease and feeling...you guessed it...BLISSFUL. There is just something about this park. Do you have a place that calms you in this way? Where you feel lighter, part of your surroundings, and allow yourself to take in everything around you? I hope you do!

Managed to capture three out of five!
Next up was food...pizza/salad was on the menu today. While we waited for the estimated time of pick-up we visited the local co-op and let Goldie (did I mention that she came along with us?) relax some more. After all, she has a tough life..;-) This is a place where the vibe is blissful...people are allowed to simply be who they are. You can grab lunch or just sit and people watch. Whatever suits your fancy. It was a wonderful additional reprieve from the heat. Here I snapped a few pictures of the glorious tree that was struck by lightning. Baby girl (who is well past my shoulders now!) seems so small in comparison. It is majestic even with it's flaws. It tells the story of generations of parents embracing the shade it offers, the natural seating it's roots provide, and the towering beauty that seems unmatched.

Baby Girl and her towering friend.......

Still so INCREDIBLY  beautiful!

Poor Miss Goldie....she is tuckered! What a life!!!!

Now we are back home and resuming our individual activites. I am sharing my blissful morning with you and the kiddos have retired to their bedrooms. They are reading, devicing (might not be a word!), or both. I am ok with it because we made the most of our time together and both commented on what a great outing it was. Let me tell ya, it makes me one proud Mama Bear to hear that!

ATTN: I have a call to action for you! I know there lots of you who are reading this blog...I am at almost 9,000 views...YAY! I know you are out there...in Japan, Scotland, China, France, India, here in the Unidted States, just to name a few. I need you to subscribe to this blog. It shows others that this blog has value and resonates. It also helps me establish that I might actually have some writing talent?!?! So, can ya do that for me?

Til next time,


Friday, July 24, 2015

This Life is for Daydreamers

Hello Luvs,

So, I have been a busy girl! While trying to find a way to earn more income that travels I have come up with some wonderful possibilities. The one that has truly hit home is a book series. I was taking a walk (walking meditation) which helps me focus on my well-being and things I need to address. Well, just under two weeks ago I was looking up at the clouds and I had a EUREKA moment. I should write children's books. They would focus on three main characters with one of them being a...ya guessed it....daydreamer! These books would somehow tie into the album that is almost complete.

Clouds would be the start with other things we take for granted being covered over the rest of the series. More will be shared as I complete each book. So far I have completed two. The first has been recorded. Did I mention that they will start off as audio books? This will enable me to self publish with the book immediately available. 

I am pretty proud of my work so far. However, figuring out how to market them (via whatever social site in necessary) has got me anchored to my computer. I am filling my brain with brand marketing videos, and I have to say that it is pretty overwhelming. I will let you know how it is going along the way. If you have ANY suggestions I would love to hear them. 

I do have something to ask of you. I have two very different renderings of the main characters. I would love to know which one you like! If you could leave a comment below it would be much appreciated. Because it is an audio series these might end up being utilized when I do a paper book for readings/performances.


Black and white

Til next time,


Saturday, July 11, 2015

My Saturday Ramblings...

Hello Luvs,

Happy Saturday! I hope that today is a day of bliss for you. Just being able to appreciate having the ability to embrace what is around you is a gift.

Today's blog finds me needing to get something off my chest. I am prepared to lose followers on twitter, facebook, along with readers of this blog. But it is something I need to express.

There is a consistent population of people who want to use their religious beliefs to pass judgement on others. Hiding behind their religion is a way to justify not TRULY  being a giving, compassionate, inclusive person. Even though many religions preach kindness toward others I find them lacking.

I know people who are gay, transgender, and bi-sexual. They come in many shades of skin tone, humor, outlook toward life, and conditions of treatment toward others. They are musicians, stylists, actors, teachers, and nurses among others. They have talents both realized and yet to be realized. All-in-all they have the same hang-ups as people who consider themselves straight. The difference is that they love someone who does not fit into societies standard of NORMAL. That is something that needs to change. 

Don't get me wrong, we are all Human Beings that make mistakes. Some that have devastating consquences and others that change the course of someone close to us. To place someone's sexuality as the cause for good and/or bad things that happen in their lives is plain wrong. Why do people do that?

It broke my heart to hear sermons condemning someone that I love to an afterlife in purgatory simply because of their sexuality. It was EXTREMELY troubling. It is one of the reasons why I believe that there is something good in all religions, and it is MAN putting his slant on it that turns it's course toward the negative. 

Other than who they love these people are kind, generous, inclusinve individuals. The have their good points and their faults. They give of themselves unconditionally over and over again. I will be damned if I let another day go by without saying that I am sickened by others being so blinded. They are individuals who deserve love and companionship. They also deserve to make the same mistakes that straight people do.

The fact that gay marriage is now legal in all 50 states probably maddens those who do not approve of their lifestyle. They now own the same capacity to divorce, build up their family units, along with any other tribulation that comes along with having a spouse. The thing is, I know of several gay couples that have been together for almost as long as I have been alive...some even longer. While several straight couples I know have seen their families torn apart by divorce, infidelity, and the destruction of their family unit. They have done the most insensitive, unforgivable, and dumbfounding things they place on others out of fear and lack of understanding. However, many of them fall on religion for their forgiveness. Instead of changing the person they are. To be a more open, kind, forgiving person who seeks to do the right thing FROM THE BEGINNING is something they should aspire to be.

Til next time,


Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Operating out of fear.....

Hello Luvs,

Today when evaluating the actions of someone I know to be a negative presence in my life I started to consider why that was. Why would this person go out of their way to make things more difficult for not only me but others? Aren't there enough people trying to bring her down (even though that might be questionable) that she reconsider doing the same to others?
A nest to house our feelings...

I know that what comes out of her mouth more than likely is disingenuious. That there is a seperate motive that drives her. Hiding behind the guise of religion to justify or cloud her actions, then telling anyone who will listen that she is a support system for others and wants everyone to succeed. But really does everything in her power to do the exact opposite.

So, why does she do it? I can only come to one conclusion....FEAR. Fear that the fascade that she displays with be uncovered. The fogged up glass that will soon be rubbed clear and discovering something that she has yet to fully realize for herself. When you have confidence in your ability you do not pull other people down. You embrace their capabilites and wish them the best. If you are not confident your insides scream...If I cannot control the narrative or outcome then NO ONE will succeed !

Do you have someone if your life who does this to you? They started off representing themselves in a way that should have slapped you out of your dream saying....THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! No one wants to go around thinking that others have ulterior motives (at least I don't), but the truth is....there are many who have just that.

How do you and I look  for a way to combat this negatively which can prove daunting? If truth be told, it is an uphill battle for me. It takes all my strength to not wish that she has profoundly negative things happen in her life. In actuality, behind closed doors, there most likely already are. A happy person does not act this way. They are in denial of their true heart. This stops them from being what their potential beckons. Though I might feel the battle brusing I also feel pity for her. She does not see the light that resonates when you are truly generous in nature.

I will continue to work on myself and the energy I put out into the world. That I have more control over. In the meantime, I will display my thoughts via this blog. It is a way for others who might be going through the same thing to realize that...YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Til next time,


Saturday, June 27, 2015

Shine with Your Eyes...

Hello Luvs,
These words hold especially true!

When thinking about the saying ....the eyes are a window to the soul...I like to take a step back and think about what it truly means. There are people who I encounter who look at me with a blank stare without any spark behind their gaze. I know that there must be someone who makes their eyes light up. Someone who brings a smile to their eyes. So why is it so? Did their bad day or the experience they had a few minutes before dictating their emotion now? That is the question....

Then you meet someone who lights up a room wtih their presence and bright outlook that you feel when you look into their eyes. They smile hello and welcome you at the same time. All of this being done with their eyes. Did they have a bad interaction that happened shortly before? There is a chance that maybe they did, and they decided not to let that affect their interaction with the next person. What are they doing that is different than the person who had such a scowl on their face that imminated from their eyes?

That is where I feel being in the moment comes into place. It is not an easy task, but it can help you realize that your here and now involves birds chirping, children laughing, the sun shining, brilliant grey clouds, the smell of fresh cut grass....I could go on and on.

This is something that is still a work in progress for me and what I work on constantly. It can be most challenging when someone drives recklessly while I have my children in the car with me. Pretty sure there are others who would find this a trying situation also. Taking a deep breath helps sometimes for sure. A quick vent that I regret later happens just as much. 

My eyes often shine outward the feelings I am experiencing. They say what my words have not. I wear my emotions on my face...and especially in my eyes. I am not a person who can hide their emotion easliy. It is usually out there for all to see no matter how I try.

You might find that there are specific times where you feel as if you might lose your temper. We are all Human Beings and students for life. At least that is what I believe for myself.

So, how do we not become the person who darkens the room? By remembering that we are all living with faults and accepting that we can all have a bad day. Are their people who live in the...whatever affects me is all I care about? Yes, for sure! That will unfortunately be the case for some. But, it is how YOU AND I choose to reflect that outward that makes the difference.

What do you think? Do you agree or have another take on it? I would love to know.

Til next time,


Thursday, June 25, 2015


Hello Luvs,

A quick ode to my morning thoughts....
Courtesy of Drew Melton- The Phraseology Project


Nevermind my frown
I woke up surrounded by a cloud
Though I admire it's beauty
The darkness still haunts me

Nevermind the words I said
In the moment I forgot my head
Thought venting was the cure
To the frustration that left me torn

Nevermind what you said
I can pretend it was the wind
Angry at being tossed around
Then smashed upon the ground

Nevermind the smile you see
It's just ME being ME
Placing the mask upon my face
To try to keep my heartbeat in place

Nevermind is just a word
Spoken under the breath not truly heard
Not truly expressing your mind
Making sure our feelings are tightly bound

Til next time,


Sunday, June 21, 2015

Papa's Got a Brand New Day...

Hello Luvs,

Courtesy of shiningmountainpress
Today is a three-fold post. I start by saying Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there along with the Mom's and Grandparents whom assume that role when there is no official 'Dad' around. Love and support from these individuals is necessary to help shape the future of our World. Without strong family figures many are left to drift along searching for that figure.

That brings me to the second part of this post. The country I live in has so many money making occasions it boggles the mind. I am a firm believer of appreciating the ones you love daily. Never should it be a specific day that dictates when you show your love and appreciation. These people need to know it on a more consistent basis. Just my way of thinking....agree with it or not.

Courtesy of Jeffrey Williams
Now, on a personal note, I wanted to write about how this day affects me. I am sure that I am not alone when as I write this. Growing up without a 'Father Figure' left me with some isses. I followed my Dad around (when he was around) so much  that they called me Champ's shadow. I believed that he hung the moon and the stars. When he passed away I was devastated. I was nine and such a shy young lady. Watching him fix cars was a favorite activity of mine. I should note that at one time my Dad was a tall, slim, clean cut, man with black rimmed glasses. He was quite handsome (me and my sisters look a lot like him) and the love of my Mother's life. He changed after going to war and was never the same. At the end of his life he belonged to a motorcycle club and rode around on his bike which he was constantly working on. It was human error when doing so that contributed to his passing. I attirbute my love of bikes (which I never rode or considered owning out of respect for my Mother) and the look of them to him. He cut a different figure when he passed. He was still handsome, but his figure had a bigger stomach, chained wallet, and leather vest. He was still a rock star in my eyes. After the accident he was in critical condtion. If he had lived in his lesser state I would be in Missouri taking care of him. This accident changed the course of my life. There was a hole left that could not be filled. Later in life I came to understand his short comings. There were many....many that even with how much my Mom loved him could not be fixed. I do know however that he was a man shaped by his experiences. They were experiences that left scars. Scars that he unfortunately could not overcome. So he was not loyal or true. He cheated, became an absent father at times, and did not place his children first. I no longer see him with rose colored glasses. That does not erase the love I feel for him. It will ALWAYS be there.

So, now my Mom was left with four daughters to raise on her own. With the tools she had she did the best she could. I understand and appreciate that. Were things perfect? No, not even close, but I still understand that she did her best. Relocating to another state and not having support of siblings and other family members can be difficult. Dealing with losing the love of your life can compound that. It can make you bitter, disconnected, and adrift. Raising four children (witn extremely different personalities) no matter what the sex can be trying. Making it a priority to make sure that they have certain role models in their lives can be even more difficult. I respect the fact that many things went into how my young life was shaped....positive or negative. For better or worse....it was what it was.

Without having that male figure changes how you feel a relationship should play out. You find yourself looking for the individual who can take care of you. Ones that can make all those fears and insecurities go away. Right or wrong...that is what happens. When you think that THIS person can do just that you find yourself excusing actions that other's would not. The person who will not only be your partner but your safety net. It took me a long time to learn that what I was doing was not the answer. I needed to become a strong Woman BEFORE I would be able to find the right partner. 

That brings me to the Hubster. He is not here to make me feel like a child in need, but to share a positive approach to becoming better Human Beings and instill these beliefs in our children. To raise children that are not part of the main stream, but instead free thinkers. It is not an easy task and we could take short cuts that are easy for us. Instead we offer the truth along with love that hopefully shows that we are there with them IN THE TRUTH.  We are alike in many ways yet different in almost just as many. However, we are consistently (not always of course) of the same mind when it comes to how to raise our children. We have taken a step back and decided this is our resolve, and we believe that our children are all the better for it. 

Lastly, here is a quick ode to those that take the rein of 'The Father Figure'. No matter who you are and the role society tries to box you in, you have a profound responsibility. Isn't that cool in a way?

Forget Perfection

What is perfection other than a want
It is an unrealistic dream that we perceive in the mind
The mind that wanders between stances
Of just what the final definition is

Forget what you feel THIS truly is
Our life is not a movie or fantasy
But a cold, frank, matter of fact
Existence that is never predictable

Try as you may to shift your approach
Others will find a way to find you lacking
So what do you do with that
Realize their judgement is the problem 

Accept that you will try to be a better you
The you that YOU strive for
With the changes that make a Happy Heart
That loves life, it's possibilities, and ulitmately YOURSELF

Till next time,


Saturday, June 20, 2015

As They Sway.....

Hello Luvs,

I know...I go from nothing for weeks or months, then I cannot stop. I hope that you enjoy my ramblings. This is something that came to me while I sat in my car waiting for the light to change.

As They Sway

Courtesy of kidz n cats
As they sway the motion relaxes
The leaves on the trees calling me
To respond to their joy
Or maybe their reprieve

They have been burdened by the heat
Beating down from up above
Allowing the rain
Absorbed to help them grow

Courtesy of kitstreemap
They can thump a beat
And they can sing a melody
Become what represents
A daytime dream for me

As they sway I sense my hesitation
To drive closer to home
Leave them where they stand
Just as we've made our connection

They are all things GOLDEN
All things LIVING
All things GROWING
Speaking their own version of AMEN

Til next time,


Friday, June 19, 2015

Friday's Random Musings

To be in the moment for me is....listening wih my eyes closed and taking in...taking it in

-The sound of the wind blowing through the trees

-The path of pine needles, leaves, and branches blown down by the storm last night into a pattern only Pollock would create

-My children's delight upon discovering their 1-10-15-20th frog on the path and gently placing them back by the water

-The birds across the pond in the tallest tree who sing together in perfect harmony
Another visitor's wonderfiul pic...

-The dragonfly who keeps zig-zagging across my
 path, almost as if saying, follow the leader

-Our chihuahua panting with excitement because she just HAS TO get up to the smell ahead

-The plane in the distance taking who knows who who knows where

-And the sound of my heart reminding me that I AM HERE to take it all in

Til next time,


Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Listen, No Listen

Hello Luvs,

Thoughts under the surface....Enjoy...

I feel it yet again
The need to ask the question
Is this a necessary action
To make you feel better

I hear the sound quite close
Close to my ear ringing true
That says I know your thoughts
Not just the words you've said

I have the sense that says
Listen, no listen
This is not the way
To get what you want

I feel it yet again
The need to close my ears
To the noise of your choosing 
That helps you relate

Relate to your thoughts
Relate to your feelings
Relate to the state of things
Things I cannot possibly understand

Til next time,


Sunday, April 26, 2015

I WILL NOT be deterred!

Hello Luvs,

It has been a while since I have written a post. I believe it falls in line with my need to express my current circumstance and get some things off my chest in order to move on. That is what this blog is for me. My chance to vent and hopefully put something out there that others relate to and/or feel as if they are not alone. A feeling that resonates.

Even though I have had times when others have blatantly done things to hurt or make me feel lessor than I am still an optimist at heart. The Hubster reminds me that I should not be surprised by others actions. Because unfortunately all in all most people are self-absorbed and only interested in themselves and what affects them. I am sure you have realized that he is a cynic. Opposites in the truest form.   In the instance when someone does something that steps outside themselves and is generous in nature becomes shocking. Something that I would like to see change. Pay it forward when there is no one watching. That is when you are being pure in intention.

So, how do others excuse or push down their negative intentions? There are lots who hide behind their religion. Nevermind the fact that if they truly followed what their religion preaches they would be taking a different path in regard to their treatment of others. In church they are a pillar. But while outside, as their true selves, they are not living the belief system they seem to preach. Others use the excuse that they need to go on the offensive before something is done to them. On top of that there are some who use both. They no longer give anyone the benefit of the doubt and assume everyone is out to get what is theirs. I have so many thoughts about this that could fill ten blogs, but instead I will just say this....ALL of it is a load of crap. Until we lead by example and change the way we relate to others the negative actions taken only lead to more negative actions.

Do I now believe that society as a while is jaded, tainted, and unredeemable? That is truly a daunting question. I do my best to affect those around me with light and passion. Passion for things that bring a smile to your face and remind you to be in the moment and appreciate what surrounds you. Doing walking meditations gives me the opportunity to absorb nature, my inner wellbeing, or quite simply the ground beneath my feet. A clear head is a side affect that reminds me of who I want to be.

Who do I want to be? A learner for life, support system for my children, an entertainer who uses music to bring joy to those who hear and feel my passion for it, and a Human Being who never loses the drive to do positive things even in the face of negative people and circumstances. I will not be deterred from that.

Til next time,


Thursday, February 19, 2015

I Can Feel You....

No matter how I try to deny it
I can feel you
In my back, my neck, even in my toes
You are the pain that reminds me
I AM Here

To love a little more
Fight a little more
Smile a little more
 Keep time a little more
Be HERE a little more

No matter how low I whisper
I cannot deny you
Piece of the puzzle that is my life
A life filled with distractions
Often clouding my actions

    No matter what I say today
I still see you
Arching over me like a rainbow
Where my wishes have potential
To become a reality

No matter how I try to deny it
I can feel you
In my stomach, in my mind, and in my heart
You are the star that shines so brightly
My guide on this journey